Today is World Mental Health Day, and behind the global theme of awareness and compassion lie thousands of very personal stories — including that of 16-year-old Matthew Ernstzen, a Johannesburg teen remembered for his warmth, kindness, and laughter.

A top academic and sportsman at King Edward VII School, Matthew seemed to have everything going for him. But beneath the surface, he was struggling with deep emotional pain. In August last year, he took his own life — leaving his parents, Ashleigh and David Ernstzen, devastated yet determined to make a difference.

“He probably just wanted someone to sit with him and say it’s okay to have those feelings,” says Ashleigh softly. “They don’t last forever. It’s okay. Talk.”

Through their non-profit, Matthew & Me, the Ernstzens now use their tragedy to help other families recognise warning signs and create open spaces for honest conversations about teenage mental health.

Ashleigh recalls that even though Matthew was in therapy, the family felt shut out. Confidentiality laws meant that neither his psychologist nor psychiatrist ever fed back to them — leaving them without guidance. “We got given no roadmap,” she says. “If your child breaks a bone, you know exactly what to do. But when your child says he’s not okay, the silence can be deafening.”

Her husband David — who heads King Edward Preparatory School — says the experience has revealed how widespread, yet hidden, the crisis is among teenagers. “Our children are confused, anxious, and many are depressed,” he says. “There is help out there, but the stigma stops them from reaching for it.”

For both parents, part of the solution lies in naming the problem — and removing the fear that surrounds it. “We’ve got to say the word suicide,” David insists. “It’s not a swear word. People need to understand what to do when someone reaches out. These aren’t just slogans — people’s lives can literally be saved.”

Ashleigh agrees, adding that small, simple gestures can make an enormous difference: “We don’t think twice about taking antibiotics, but we’re afraid to tell our friends we’re on antidepressants. It shouldn’t be that way.”

A few of the tools shared on the Matthew & Me social channels to assist teens in opening up about their Mental Health issues.

The couple now partner with the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) to promote safety plans and practical lifelines for teens in distress — from trusted adults and peers who check in, to knowing which numbers to call.

For the Ernstzens, it’s a deeply personal mission: to honour Matthew’s life by sparing other families the same pain.

“One life lost is enough,” Ashleigh says. “If we can save just one teenager and one family from going through this, then Matthew would have changed the world.”

If you or someone you know needs help, visit www.sadag.org or call SADAG’s 24-hour helpline on 0800 456 789. You can also SMS 31393 for free counselling.