Then there’s the early-morning enthusiast.

“My neighbour comes home at 3am on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday… and hoots until someone opens the gate.”

Some complaints, however, fall firmly into the category of neighbourhood espionage.

“Stop lurking through your curtains!”

But the real prize may go to the most creative feud in Joburg history.

“My neighbour decided I’m a hobbit… and put hobbit posters all around the complex.”

Yes, apparently parking bays, walls and cars were decorated overnight — proving that passive-aggressive behaviour in Joburg sometimes comes with excellent production values.

Modern problems also require modern complaints.

“Can you stop taking photos of other people’s houses for your Instagram?”

And yet, in true Joburg fashion, not every neighbour is a villain.

“Our neighbour plays loud music on Saturday nights… but it’s good music, so we don’t mind.”

Which perhaps sums up Joburg perfectly. We might argue about gates, dogs, noise and curtain-twitching… but if the playlist is right, we’re willing to forgive almost anything.

So are Joburgers the best neighbours or the worst?

Judging by these stories — probably both.

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